Sick Girl Part VI

Continued...

This year I had pretty much decided that I would just try to live my life the best I could until I was completely bedridden. I tried to take advantage of all the days I felt well. I missed a lot of family functions, vacations, and events with friends. I would have crying fits. I was always in pain. The tumor was so big that I couldn’t even hide it under my baggy clothes anymore. When on shopping trips, if I pushed myself to walk too much, I would end up bent over in pain for days. I would have back problems. I would be stuck in my apartment for weeks without even leaving out of my front door. I never complained much about being ill. The days I did feel good, people would see me and not even think I was going through all that I was. I went away and spent some time staying with a friend. I did a lot of writing projects.

With the money, I made, I purchased a health insurance policy so that I could finally have surgery. It was expensive but my mom told me that she would help me. She knew more than anyone the type of pain I was experiencing; it was her on the other side of the phone praying for me at 3am while I cried out in pain. I researched some doctors who were specialist with HS and found a dermatologist at UAB Hospital. I had one appointment with him and he told me I needed surgery asap, which I already knew. He sent me to a surgeon. When my mom and I arrived at the surgeons office, we realized that this was the surgeon that I had visited years before but didn’t like because he had bad bedside manner and tried to argue with me when I was telling him my symptoms. We told the nurse about it. She told us not to leave but to give him another chance. I am glad we listened because he was a much better doctor than the guy I had met all those years before. He said he had operated on several patients with the same or worst tumors than mine. He told me that he had a procedure in which he could remove the tumor in about 2 hours and it was an outpatient surgery. He said he could do it with no skin grafts and I would be healed in 4 weeks. He asked when would I be ready for surgery. I said today. We all laughed and the surgery was scheduled for August 13, 2013.

I was so nervous those three weeks before my surgery. I kept wondering if something was going to go wrong. I had never had surgery before, so I was terrified but excited too. Nothing was better than the thought of living without the tumor even if it meant me dying on the operating table. I was just that miserable and in pain. I was ready to finally get my life back.