Score: Me/0 Scars/23248450584580

Been riding the wave of being me for so long that I think I started to take it for granted. It all crashed just for a moment…. The confusion, the questions, the eventual abandonment…the scars win again. I usually have deep, meaningful conversation about who I am, what I have gone through, and life in general before I lay down and give my body to someone. Men are so rushed to lay you down these days the only information they require is a date, time, and place. Long drawn out conversations have turned to snippets of life in text. No intimate, late night phone calls with heavy breathing and whispers. He just wants sex. The chemistry, the connection, all there. So caught up in lust. Never had a chance to slow down and tell him, “Hey, I’m not like the other girls! I have scars that will never go away and more that will come one day.” He freaked but he still made love to me… They will still make love to you!!! Worried messages the next day. “What is that? What is wrong with you? Why didn’t you tell me?” He freaked but he still sexed me… I told him. Explained everything away. I actually didn’t even realize I hadn’t told him. No one has mentioned my scars since before my surgery. Or maybe they freaked but still fucked me… I don’t know. I don’t define myself by my scars anymore. I am becoming more me…slowly over time. Even through my Gemini induced mood swings I am becoming ME. And it’s kinda beautiful…